A week ago Samantha had her quarterly evaluation in person at NACD. We had been really struggling for the past few weeks because Samantha had been resisting doing program. Whenever this happens a vicious cycle begins: I do not want to even try because I know Samantha will be miserable, so I avoid it and I feel miserable with guilt because I'm not getting program done. Pretty much no one is happy around our house and I internalize all the responsibility. We were also worried because after a short two day vacation away from home, it seemed like our 99% potty trained daughter was now 10% trained. We also felt like she had regressed in speech as she was making fewer attempts at speech than she had a month before. We expressed these concerns to Sara and she had a lot of questions to ask. Finally she started asking questions about Samantha's play time activities and wondered what Samantha's favorite things were to do. After a long thought I admitted that I really don't know what Samantha likes because whenever I have down time from laundry, cooking and cleaning, I feel the urgency to get program activities done and checked off my enormous program list. I sort of hate admitting things like this. It's like admitting defeat in the competition against myself to be the best mom humanly possible. Why is it so impossible for me to "do it all"? Sara responded immediately that we need to throw the checklists out the window and play with Samantha as much as possible. Specifically, I am to do a lot of play that involves language, like tea parties, dolls, etc. We are to casually throw in program activities but no recommended number of times per day, just what we can sneak in while keeping things light and happy. She also explained that as kids on program are "globally three" (this means the various aspects of their development are all around three years of age- the obvious exception for Samantha being her speech) that they hit a wall where they don't want to do work. If it looks, smells, tastes or feels like work they lock down and parents often mistake this as a regression. I can't begin to explain the relief I felt. The idea of "just have fun and play" seems so foreign to me, but also very exciting!
Samantha's recent huge progresses are first that she has attended her church classes for the past three weeks in a row. She has never made it through all three hours of church. I'm sure the teacher is completely worn out by the end, but for Samantha it is huge progress that I can leave her in a room of fifty other kids and say goodbye and walk away and she will sit in her chair and wait for her teacher. I've listened in the hallway and haven't heard a peep from her. Three straight hours of sit still time is huge for just about any kid, but gigantic for Samantha! Also, I must add that she is back to 99% potty trained. She is still holding back on the speech attempts, but I think that will come back soon.
Her second big progress is that she rode some rides at an amusement park with us that she had been absolutely terrified to ride a year ago. I was so nervous to let her even try because I expected the rigid body and look of shear terror that had been there previously, but she did great!
I'd like to quote two people from opposite ends of the spectrum of social skills and intelligence.
First, during Samantha's evaluation as she was playing, Sara looked at Samantha, smiled kindly and said "yeah, you know exactly what's going on don't you?" Very nice.
Secondly, at the amusement park, we waited in a very slow line for the girls to ride the little boats. Samantha got very bored, wasn't feeling well and did some pretty serious whining while in line. Then once she was riding the boat she was all smiles and excitement. When the ride ended and I went to get her, the ride operator came over and said "Is your kid crazy or something?" Yes, some people are really that clueless. I gave her a stink-eye that could have killed a small animal and walked away thinking "Are you crazy?"
